Love-Receptor Overload

I love being a Mom!  Thank you God for my daughter.  I still get caught up in those unreal moments where I'm stopped dead in my tracks, frozen in the "I can't believe it's true!" thoughts that return over and over again.  Randomly I'll be looking at my sweetiepie like "no big deal" and then all of a sudden the magnitude of the reality sitting there before me just overwhelms me with joy and I'm dumbfounded.  I'm in rapture but I'm braindead at the same time.  My brain must simply reach love-receptor overload.  What on Earth am I talking about?  I'm try to describe how it feels for me sometimes, being a new "Mom".

Courtesy VintageHolidayCrafts.com

The other evening I was home with Grace while Greg went to the skatepark to unwind.  I was tired after work, and felt like a boring, lame Mom because I just wanted to lay down.  I took Grace with me to bed and told her I was going to teach her how to sleep in a bed and snuggle.  She's 4 month's old, so she has no idea what I babble about.  I laid her head down on the pillow, and pulled the covers up over us.  She promptly drew her thumb to her mouth and began sucking and humming away.  I felt very understood. :) We laid there for 20 whole minutes, just snuggling and staring at each other.  It was special.

One thought that came to mind that night, that has stuck with me, is just how bewildering it is that God gives us the opportunity to have children - but that's not it.  He allows us to experience it even more than once, if we so choose.  I still have a hard time wrapping my brain around that idea.  This one little vessel of love and pure, amazing creation so perfect... and God's not selfish.  He lets us experience life in others, little ones, every day and everywhere.  I cannot imagine how big my heart would grow to have another baby.  Another child would be such a blessing (one both Greg and I would love to experience if it's to be) but the-most-amazing-exploding-challenging-growing-never-ceasing-other-worldly-supernova-nirvana love - times two???  I wonder!